The Dating Game: Contestant Miroku
by Japanimejo
Summary: Inu-Yasha and Miroku throw some random insults and Inu-Yasha bets that Miroku can't get a girl. Miroku says he can, and to prove it he goes on the Dating Game. The two boys have now made a bet that could embarass them both!
1. Default Chapter

*******Disclaimer***********  
Hey guys! Umm...I STILL don't own any of the characters and if I did I would show the rest of the season on a television chanel that everyone could see. But anyway, it's story time, so sit back, relax, and enjoy...  
  
Chapter 2: Inu-Yasha and Miroku's Plans  
  
Inu-Yasha laid on Kagome's couch snoozing and snoring away.  
  
Miroku sat in an upright indian style position watching the every movement on the television.   
  
"Number 3, you idiot," he yelled at the inanimate object.   
  
Inu-Yasha rolled over to face Miroku. "You're the idiot...why the hell are you still watching that stupid show?" he half realizes what he's said before he rolls back over and starts snoozing again.  
  
"I'm watching it because I WILL NOT wear a pink tutu with bunny ears for a week..." Miroku says once again focusing on the television.  
  
The man on the show is told to pick. "I choose...number 3," he says with a wild roar from the audience.  
  
"HA! YES! There's no way that I can lose!" Miroku yells at the television even louder than last time.   
  
Suddenly, a sleepy Kagome comes in rubbing her eyes. "Miroku, it's two in the morning," she says groggily.  
  
"I know, but I have learned how the show works now...I have developed a techinique that is fool proof...I've been right so far about every guy and girl and which date they have picked!" he says with great pride to her.  
  
Kagome sits on the pallet with her legs underneath her body. "Miroku," she says solemnly, "I don't think you understand...you would win any way you look at it becuase the show picks only the girls you think would be compatible with you."  
  
"Really?" Miroku says with an eyebrow raised.  
  
"Uh-huh. That's how it works," says Kagome while she nods her head.  
  
"Well then I guess I can get some sleep now," says Miroku with a sigh.  
  
"Yea, definately...because if you weren't going to go to bed, I was going to make you...you're really loud when you watch t.v.," she says with a giggle.  
  
"Hey! That's not nice..." Miroku pouts.  
  
"It's also not nice to disturb someone's sleep," Kagome says in a very matter-of-fact sort of way. She then jerks her head towards Inu-Yasha.  
  
"Well...I have to go do something back in my time; I'll be back by sunrise here, ok?" says Miroku as he takes off toward the well.  
  
"I guess," says Kagome with a sigh.  
  
Kagome grabs a blanket and puts it over Inu-Yasha. "It's awfully cold tonight and I wouldn't want you to get sick," she says with a very loving tone. Inu-Yasha hugs and snuggles with the blanket.   
  
She then quietly leaves the room.  
  
His ears flick. "SO," he says as he sits up, "there's no way Miroku can lose you say Kagome?" he whispers to himself. He folds his arms as if to pout. "There's no way in hell that I am using that Shikon jewl to become human...I HAVE to think of something..." he lays back down on the couch with arms folded under his head.   
  
He randomly plots things outloud that would make Miroku lose the bet.  
  
"I could sabotage the girls...switch his list of qualities with someone else's...  
Nah..."  
  
He thinks for a couple of more minuets and then sits straight up.  
  
"GOT IT!" He looks devilishly towards the hall.  
  
Inu-Yasha goes to the back of the hall and opens the left hand side door. "This is where Shippo is staying and HE'S GOING to help me...muahahhahahahaaa."  
  
The door creaks open but there is no one in the room.   
  
"WHAT?!?! WHERE IS HE?!?!" Inu-Yasha yells.   
  
He quickly spins around to see the door to Kagome's room.  
  
"Oh but no, he'd better NOT have !!!" says an infuriated Inu-Yasha.  
  
He marches over to the door with a wild look in his eyes and flings the door open.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING SHIPPO?!?!?!!!!"  
  
Shippo was nestled next to Kagome's head and had been peacefully sleeping and Kagome had been fast asleep.  
  
"WAIT TIL I GET THE TESTAIGIA AFTER YOU, THEN YOU'LL BE SORRY!!!"  
  
BLINK BLINK  
  
The two look at each other and then realize that Inu-Yasha is in the room screaming his head off at them.  
  
"I'm the only one that gets to sleep in Kagome's bed, ya' hear?!!!" he continues his rant.  
  
Kagome sits up with the covers over her shoulders. "YOU?!?! YOU THINK YOU ACTUALLY HAVE A SHOT?!?! IN YOUR DREAMS!!!" she says as she throws a pillow and it hits him smack dab in his face.  
  
Inu-Yasha looks confused and then is embarassed. Trying to cover what he's just said, he tries to back track and explain.  
  
"Hehe...what I meant, Kagome, was that I have known you the longest and we have slept on grass next to each other so what difference does a bed make?" he says with one arm stuck behind his head with sweat drops pouring from his forehead.  
  
Kagome just sits there and Shippo decides to pipe up. "That's not what you meant and you know it!"   
  
Inu-Yasha's temper flares again.   
  
"Little fox, you are coming with me!" he says as he picks the fox up by his tail.  
  
"Good riddens!" says an grouchy Kagome. She lays her head back down on the pillow. "I hope Miroku wins this bet..." she says to herself as she falls back asleep.  
********************  
(In Miroku's time)  
  
Miroku approached small village. As he passed by some of the locals, he could hear them talking about the demons of the village and how wonderful it was to have a demon exterminator by their side. "Yes, I'm definately in the right place to find her," says Miroku in a Keneau Reeves kind of voice.  
  
Miroku turns his head to the right and asks a villager, " You! Do you know where the female demon exterminator is?"  
  
The villager replies, "try the castle palace my dear monk."  
  
"Has she rid your town of the demons that plague it?"  
  
"Yes she has gentle monk," says the woman.  
  
"Thank you for your time," and with that Miroku heads to the palace.  
*********************  
At the palace, Miroku has trouble getting past the guards. Luckily for him, the femal demon exterminator is coming out.  
  
"Sango!" he calls.   
  
She turns around to see him waving wildly. Sango rolls her eyes and walks over to where he stands. "So what's it now, Miroku? Another black, omnious cloud lays over a village and threatens it? Do you need to protect some poor maiden while I kill the demon? Sorry...I don't think so..." she says as she lets her hair down and straps her boomerang on her back.  
  
"Actually," Miroku says, "I was coming here to ask you on a date."  
  
Sango stops dead in her tracks. She blushes a little and then finally says, "but you're older than me..."  
  
"Oh, c'mon it isn't that bad is it?" Miroku pleads. "I want you to go on this show with me...and I'll be sure to pick you since I know you already and that way we can go out on a really fancy date in Kagome's time."  
  
Sango turns around. She has a look of great happiness on her face. "In Kagome's time?" she says with a raspy, excited voice. Then her expression changes. "I don't know," she says as she turns around again. "What's in it for you?" she says with a face cocked to the side and one finger on her cheek.  
  
Miroku is taken aback. He didn't think that Sango would ask him that. "Uhhh...uhhhh...uhhhhh..." he stutters. "Well...nothing really...Inu-Yasha just said that I couldn't hold on to a steady girl and I just want to prove him wrong."  
  
Sango blushes again and gets a small smile on her face. "And you picked me Miroku?"  
  
"I will but you have to go on the show with me. You see, it'll be you and two other girls up there that I can pick from, but the thing is I know you, your personality, and your voice and I'd for sure pick you and I know we'd have a GREAT time on our date," Miroku continues to romance the girl.  
  
"Well, I don't think I have anymore jobs lined up for today..." Sango muses. "And I guess the towns will be ok becuase I haven't heard of anymore demon trouble..."  
  
"Ok! Then let's hurry back!" Miroku grabs Sango's wrist and drags her back to the well.   
  
"Miroku, what's the hurry?" Sango cries.   
  
"I've already applied, but you have to now too!" Miroku says as he shoves poor Sango down the well.  
  
"This is going to be soo great..." Miroku starts talking to himself. "Three women all wanting to date me...ah...such is the fate of being a man."   
  
And with that Miroku jumps down the well.  
***********************  
Ok. Here's the deal...if you want your name mentioned in the next chapter READ AND REVIEW THIS. The next chapter will be about Miroku's interview with the dating game and the bachelorette applicants. IF YOU WANT TO BE A BACHELORETTE APPLICANT, READ AND REVIEW. Now, here's the big thing-IF YOU WANT TO BE A BACHELORETTE CONTESTANT IN THE 4TH CHAPTER (ALONG WITH SANGO AND ANOTHER GIRL) READ, REVIEW, AND TELL ME WHY MIROKU IS YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTER AND WHY YOU DESERVE THE BACHELORETTE SPOT. (It also wouldn't hurt to praise my work! LOL JUST JOKING) There will only be one winner, but I will mention the top 12 in the chapter. PLEASE NOTE: SINCE THIS IS AN INTERACTIVE CHAPTER, I CAN'T UPDATE UNTIL THERE ARE REVIEWS...SO R&R PLEASE!  
  
Love always,  
japanimejo 


	2. InuYasha and Miroku's Plans

Japanimejo Presents  
~Miroku on the Dating Game!~  
  
Deadicated to Elizabeth who has just found out the joy of Anime. Plus her favorite character is Miroku. ^_^  
  
  
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT own any of the characters from Inu-Yasha and never will. I don't own the dating game either. *Ahem* I do however own a character called Shiryoku in a little story entitled, "Escaflowne Returns: Shiryoku's Visions." (Which if can say so myself, is a really really good story.) *WINK WINK* If you enjoy this story, please just go take a look at my more serious one. THANKS.  
  
  
Miroku walked along quietly with Inu-Yasha ahead of him. The gang was going to visit Kagome in her time today! Kagome had said that she would make everyone a huge feast and that this time would be used as a time to relax have fun. And that's exactly what the gang planned on doing.  
  
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a high pitched little voice called to Inu-yasha and Miroku. "YOU GUYS BETTER NOT BE LEAVING ME HERE!" It was Shippo trailing far behind. "I'm going to Kagome's too," he pouted with folded arms while quickly floating to Miroku's shoulder. Mirouku turned his head sharply to the little fox. "You shouldn't come; you're too young. You wouldn't understand what Inu-Yasha and I are trying to do," he replied in a no-nonsense sort of way.  
  
Shippo floated in one spot and watched Miroku and Inu-Yasha jump down the well. "Of course I understand!!!" he yells at the well after the two boys have disappeared. "Miroku is a playboy player and Inu-Yasha just wants some but he's not gonna get any because Kagome is NOT that way! Although I wish he would because he probaly wouldn't be half as grumpy!" he folds his arms and finally lowers himself to the ground. He trails off thinking to himself. "Hmph...it's not fair just to leave me here," he says pouting even more. "I'll show them...just you wait..." Shippo grumbles to himself as he floats back to town.  
  
*************  
(In Kagome's time)  
  
"HEEEEEY GUYS!!!" said a smiling Kagome as she opens the door. "You're just in time. I just got the table set so we can go ahead and eat." "Great," Inu-Yasha says as he pushes her out of the way, "I'm famished." "Oh no you don't!" screams Kagome as she grabs his robe choking him as he continues to try to get to the table. "No, you get no food if you push me out of the way like that. Miroku steps up to the door. "Lady Kagome, may I please come in and partake of your excellent lunch?" Miroku asks while giving a short bow. "Yes, you certainly may," she looks at Inu-Yasha, "now why can't you be more like that?" she says up in his face still clenching the kimono in one hand. "Phf," Inu-Yasha says as he folds his arms, "I don't know why I'm taking your crap; I mean I am a demon and so I'll just use my demon strength to get out of your grasp and eat that food over there that you don't want me to eat!" He yells in her face. "OH YEA?!?! SIT BOY! SIT, SIT , SIT, SIT!!! SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!" Kagome yells loudly. Miroku looks up from his food. He laughs at Inu-Yasha's smashed face, shrugs his shoulders, and goes back to eating his delicous lunch. Inu-Yasha quickly gets up and says, "What the hell are you laughing at?!?! And YOU!" he turns to Kagome, "why I outta..." Inu-Yasha's sentence is cut off by Kagome shoving a spoonful of food in his mouth and saying, "enough already! just shut up and eat!"   
  
"Errrrrrrgggggghhhhh..."Inu-Yasha growls at her, "maybe I don't want to eat now!"   
  
"Oh just sit down already; you know you are starving," says Miroku still stuffing his face.   
  
"You!" Inu-Yasha says as he points a finger at Miroku, "just shut up already, FREAKAZZIOD! I mean you can't talk either cuz you have a bottomless pit in the palm of your hand and your a cheezy, sleezy, guy who can't keep a girl!" he yells out of frustration.  
  
"Cheezy, am I Inu-Yasha," says Miroku offended now as he stands up from the table and grabs some of Kagome's cheese cassarole. "I am afraid you are mistaken; you're the one who's cheezy!" and with that Miroku smashes the handful of cheese on Inu-Yasha's face.   
  
"Alright, I see where this is going," says Inu-Yasha with a bit of mischief in his voice. "Well, if a am cheezy you are ... you are..." Inu-Yasha looks around at the table. He spies a trayful of vegtables. "Then you're broccoli!" he says with great convinction and pride. "That's not much of an insult, you imbasil!" Miroku says sticking his nose up in the air with arms folded. "WHAT?!? YEA IT IS! Cuz no one likes broccoli," Inu-Yasha says in a teasing kiddish voice with the face to match.  
  
Kagome sits watching and fearing what's about to happen.  
  
Inu-Yasha then picks up the broccoli and smashes it all into Miroku's hair.   
  
Kagome snickers but then tries to regain he composure as she watches some more.  
  
"OH yea! Well this is for saying that I am a dog that is trained by my girl!"  
  
"OH YEA!, well you are a dog, and this is for you saying that I'm a bottomless pit that can't get a girl!"  
  
Now everything on the table is being flung in twenty-million different directions as well as insults; Inu-Yasha was cheezed faced, had split pea soup green hair, and banana pudding spotted red kimono. Miroku had broccoli and jell-o hair, a vanilla ice cream kimono, with a chocolate syrup face.  
  
Some more jell-o was thrown but Miroku had ducked and it was headed straight for Kagome. She stood there like a deer in headlights. "ENOUGH!" she cried.  
  
*SPLAT*  
  
She marched over to the two boys with her now pink tinted hair. "I want both of you to stop this, right now!" she yelled. "I don't care about you're stupid fight about who's the bigger man becuase he's got a girl or girls!"  
  
Miroku looked at the tv over her shoulder. His eye had been caught by a logo that said, "The Dating Game."   
  
Kagome was still screaming her head off about how the two of them were going to have to clean up the mess they made. Miroku nudges Kagome. "Hey, what's that show about?"  
  
Kagome looks at him sternly. "People go on it to find dates but you don't need that Miroku...you unfortunately have enough charm," she says rolling her eyes. "See, Dog Breath, even YOUR girl thinks I'm charming," Miroku says as he folds his arms and dares Inu-Yasha to make a comeback. "Don't even think about that until you help Dog Demon over there clean up you're mess!" Kagome screams as she turns the tv off and takes the remote with her as she leaves the room. "It's a marathon; you can watch it after you get done," she calls from another room. "And did you guys leave poor Shippo agian?" she calls sounding even more mad than the last time. The two boys look at each other. "ERRRRGGG! I'm going to go get him! AND THIS MESS HAD BETTER BE CLEAN!" Kagome screams as she slams the backdoor shut and heads to the well.   
  
Miroku looks at Inu-Yasha. Inu-Yasha sneers at the monk. "You couldn't get a date on that show if you're life depended on it," he taunted. "I know I could," Miroku quipped back. "Hmmm...is this a bet?" Inu-Yasha mused. "I believe it is...let's see if you lose, you have to wear a pink tutu with bunny ears and flashy make-up in our day and Kagome's day for at least a week," he says pointing at Miroku.  
  
"WHAT?!?! Hmm...well if you lose, which you will, have to use the shikon jewl to become something that you feel disgusted with..." Miroku gets a mischievous grin on his face. He rubs his chin and deviously says, " a mortal."   
*********  
  
Da---Da--DAAAAAAAAA!!!  
So what'cha think? Please R&R!!! But if you are flamin', be gentle it's my first humorous fic. But there is a lot of natural humour in Chapters 2 and 3 in my other fic called "Escaflowne Returns: Shiryoku's Visions." HINT HINT. I promise it's worth your time!!!  
~japanimejo~ 


	3. Authour's Note

HEY GUYS!  
  
I promise I haven't forgotten about this fic at all! It's just that my old computer is in the process of being updated and my files are on it...As soon as the new desktop computer arrives, I promise I will post the next chapter...it's all written except for the fact that I need to add the names of the peoples who reviewed (THANKS VERY MUCH! *HUGS*) I would use the laptop(what i use to update my other stories) but i wasn't given a 3 1/2 floppy when I got it, and I have yet to go get pc cards to transfer files.  
  
Pleaze bear with me through the technical difficulties...I promise to make it worth your time!  
  
if you would like to sample more of jo's writtings, i have two serious fic started...A heero fic, which is funny and romantic...and then there is the Esca fic that is kinda angsty, but it will soon turn to action/drama/romance...  
  
if you would, review and let me know that you got this and leave your e-mail and i'll e-mail you when i update...  
  
thanks again for waiting...  
  
lovealways~japanimejo~ 


	4. Chapter 3: Part 1The Applicant

DiSclAiMeR: STILL DON'T own anything...except for Jo, but she's me soo!   
a/n replies:   
  
Bell-chan: HAHAHA!!! I read your story about Miroku going to the different series and it's funny! In fact, I stole your idea here, but I am giving you credit for it! GO CHECK OUT HER STORY!!!! *makes everyone get in line to read story* Sorry no review for it, my computer was acting up! Anyway, thanks for reviewing!  
  
Kaylana: Wow. I think you feel the way about Miroku the way I do about Van! LOL(you'll see in this story!) Thanks for such a long reivew! It was fun to read!  
  
aearoniel: Of course, Inu-yasha won't become human if he loses...so where's my plot huh? I'm wondering if anyone out there has figured it out yet....O_o...Thanks for your review!!!  
  
Gakoma: Hmmm...I don't know...some of the characters I have gotten I'd really like to work with and so I don't know...I may put in 5 contestants on the show instead of just 3...Sango may or may not get him...I just don't know...Anyway! Thanks for the review!  
  
Tripp: Thanks so much for your review! It was very encouraging!   
  
Right now, I have 13 lucky girls (-HA! IRONIC) lined up to be featured in the next chapter. I think 20 would make a good number to work with. Please, if you come upon this story anew, don't think it's too late to get in on the fun! Just review! *waves* Thanks!  
  
P.S. since I haven't updated in a while, I made this chapter extrememley long *winks*  
  
And now Jo proudly presents...  
Chatper 3: Part One- The Applicant  
(Earlier) A girl with straight , mahogany hair sits on top of a desk in a cubicle. She's wearing a pink pencil skirt with a pink blazer to match. Next to her, working hard on some paper work, is a guy in a pair of khaki slacks, a red collar button up shirt, and a pair of glasses.  
The boy takes off his glasses and lets out a huge sigh. "I don't know what to do; we tried the Dating Game marathon, but that didn't work. The ratings keep going down and nothing that I can think of is making the numbers go the opposite direction," he says leaning back in his chair and folding his arms across his chest.  
The girl hops off the desk and rubs the guy's black hair. "Well, let's shoot for a younger audience; that way I can lose the news anchor look," she says taking off the granny shoes that perfectly matched the pink outfit. "AND try someone who would cause a little bit of contreversy!" she yells while walking off with shoes in hand. She walks a little distance before a loud noise is made.  
*SPLAT*  
"I'm ok!" she yells nervously. "Just me..being spastic....stupid panty hose!!!!" she grumbles as she jerks up the skirt and pulls off the thigh highs. The boy blushes and quickly turns his head the other way.  
The boy then eyes the stack of "NO DEFINATELY NOT!!!" applicants. He lets out another sigh and grabs the stack. "It's the shows only hope," he says exasperatedly as he looks at the "YOU DON'T HAVE A CHANCE IN HECK TO BE ON THIS SHOW!" applicant. "Hmn..." he leans over the one on the top of the stack. "I guess he's a decent looking guy...he seems to have a nice personality...but he's a monk...monks aren't supposed to date..."  
*SNATCH*  
"PERFECT!" says the girl form before now in a pair of low slung belted blue jeans and a pink peaseant blouse shirt. She looked completely her age now. "I mean he's evertything a girl could ask for!...cute personality, good looking-" The boy shoots her an unhappy glare. She rolls her eyes and pinches his cheeks while saying, "you're still cuter!" She then goes back to looking at the applicant, "hey! he's a monk...I thought monks weren't supposed to date though!" "I know that!" he says getting irratated.  
"He's contreversial, young, and a lady's man...he's just what the show needs!" continues the girl. "Alright already," sighs the boy. "ALRIGHT!" screams the girl loudly. "The next contestant on the dating game is..." she glances down on the paper to find a name. "MIROKU!!!"  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Okay, see here's the deal," says Miroku explaining his elaborate plan to Sango. "If they find out that we know each other, they won't let you on the show. So for you to apply you can't act like you know me.." Miroku says very passionately. "Oh," says Sango kinda disheartend now. "And the only person that you can tell about this is Kagome; she'll help you get in."  
Sango threw Miroku a look. Miroku choked. "What's the look for?" he said nervously. "You're acting really, really suspicious," Sango said making her eyes nothing but slits. "Uh-oh," Miroku thought, "she's figured me out! Oh man, she'll really kick my butt for this one! C'mon, think Miroku...do something smooth."  
He grabbed Sanog up in his arms and leaned her back. Sango was caught completely off her guard. She reacted completely on instinct and struggled to get away from him. In the process of all the fidgeting, Miroku was slowly losing his grip on her. As Sango started to fall backwards, she grabbed onto the first thing she saw. That thing just so happened to be Miroku's beads that kept the wind tunnel closed.  
*BUMP*  
Sango looked on in sheer fear as she slowly began to realize what she had in her hand. She then looked up at Miroku who had fallen on top of her. She blushed amd glanced down at the kneeling monk's hand that possesed the wind tunnel. The ground was starting to dissappear.  
"Quick Miroku!" Sango said lifting her hand up from the ground clasping the beads. "Put them back on!" she called as the wind around them began to get heavy. Little did she know just how heavy the wind was; the beads were sucked straight from her hand!  
The two looked like they were playing a game of twister that had gone horribly wrong. "Masjfljfl askljfl sdjflsdg iihgfo!" Sango cried out form underneath him. "What?" said Miroku. "I can't understand you!" He dissmissed the comment that had come from under him; he'd just assume that it was a death threat as usual and once again went back to trying to grab the beads. They were now stuck on the tree branch just above them. He even thought about playing around some before getting the beads because he was enjoying the postition he was in.  
The two knew that if they didn't get those beads soon though, they'd be sucked into the wind tunnel forever.  
Just as Miroku was about to reach the beads though, Sango had managed to push Miroku off of her.(along with the help of a gust of wind) Now Miroku was flying around with an angry look on his face, arms folded, screaming at Sango at how he'd almost had the beads.  
"SANGO!!!! YOU CAN GET THE STUPID BEADS NOW!!!"  
Sango was also flying around and each time she flew past the beads made a grab for them. "Mi-*reach*-ro-*reach*ku!!!!!*reach* You could at least HELP!!! IT'S YOUR STUPID WIND TUNNEL!!!" *reach*   
Then Sango had (what she thought to be) a genius of an idea. She would send her boomerang after the beads and it would just fly right back into her hands! ...but that only made things worse. The vortex of the wind was too strong for it and now it was in the process of flying by nearly chopping their heads off. "SANGO!!!" screamed Miroku again dodging the boomerang. "What now?" she called to Miroku innocently. "I DON'T KNOW YOU'RE THE ONE WHO THREW THE DEATHSYTHCE HERE!" he said ducking from the boomerang again. "WELL! Do something!" Sango cried angry frustrated, and running out of ideas. Miroku just shook his head and as he passed by the tree shoved his staff into it's bark. He then easily valuted himself onto the branch and grabbed the beads.  
*WHOOSH*THUD*  
Sango was back on the ground again. "MIROKU!" she yelled angrily looking at a nearby tree that had been uprooted. "It's not exactly a 2x4, but it'll do!"(thanks LJ!^-^) She picked it up and threw it at the monk sitting on the tree. *BONK* *THUD*  
Miroku fell off the tree and Sango ripped into him.   
"YOU COULD HAVE AT LEAST WAITED UNTIL I WAS ON A TREE LIMB TOO! AND YOU COULD'VE GOTTEN OFF OF ME! I COULDN'T BREATHE! AND YOU COULD'VE GOTTEN THE BEADS ALL ALONG WITH THAT STUPID STAFF OF YOURS! WHAT WERE YOU PLANNING ON DOING ANYWAY? RAPE ME? I DON'T THINK SO!"  
*BONK* She hits him with the tree agian.  
"Ouch!" squeaks Miroku. "Look," he says, "I was just going to do this!" He grabs Sango by her shoulders giving her a small kiss on the cheek. Sango turns a scarlet red.  
"Oh..." Sango says feeling really sheepish. "YEA, OH...it's like you think I'm a pervert or something..."Miroku says sarcastically. Sango looks at the ground. "I'm sorry Miroku..." she says queitly. "Yea, well I feel sorry for me too!" Miroku says with a laugh.  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
The two finally arrive at Kagome's and are greeted by her.  
"Are you guys ok? You look like you've been through a hurricane or something..." she says with a concerned look.  
Miroku lets out a huge laugh and Sango sucker punches him. "IT ISN'T FUNNY! LOSING YOUR LIFE TO A BOTTOMLESS PIT! ...hmph..." Sango says.  
"Huh?" Kagome says confused.  
*ring*ring* *ring*ring*  
"Hello?" Kagome says answering the phone. "Yes, he's right here," she says extending her arm to Miroku to take the phone.   
"Hello?" he says.  
"HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!~" says the girl on the other end very loudly. Miroku jerks the phone away from his ear and makes a face. "Sheez, she's loud!" he thinks. "MY NAME IS JO AND I'M FROM THE DATING GAME SHOW! WE WANT AN INTERVIEW WITH YOU BUT I'M PRETTY SURE YOU HAVE A SHOW!"   
Miroku smiles and pulls the phone back away from his ear at least 6 inches while Jo continues to explain. "CAN YOU COME TODAY? WE'D LIKE TO TAPE A SHOW ASAP!"  
"Sure, be there in an hour or so..." Miroku says wanting to go gloat to Inu-Yasha. "GREAT"! yells Jo on the other end so loudly, it startles Miroku ane he throws the phone away from his ear.  
"HEeEeY!!!! What'd you do that for?!?!? Grandpa just bought this!" Kagome says very upset. She gets on all fours looking underneath the couch to find the phone. "I did it so I could do this..." Miroku says with a smile while looking at Kagome's butt. *Pinch* *Thud*  
"oooouch!!!! ERGGGGGHHHHHHHHH! MIROKU!!!" trying to get out from under the couch to repay the favor. Instead, she wound up hitting her head and became very dazed.  
"Miroku!" Sango screamed as he turned around in enough time to see her boomerang hit him on the head.   
*THUD*   
"On second thought, maybe I'll go gloat to Inu-Yasha and LEAVE..." he says quite wearily. "That would definately be a really, REALLY good idea..." says Kagome still rubbing her butt. "That's right!" Sango says waving her boomerang even more. Miroku slowly backed away from the two and out the back door to find Inu-Yasha.  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
Inu-Yasha was outside in Kagome's backyard with Shippo. He looked like he was screaming at the poor thing to do his bidding as usual.  
Miroku simply walked up and stood with a huge smirk on his face. "WHAT IS IT MORTAL!?!" he screamed at Miroku. "The Dating Game rep called; I have a show! I WIN dogbreath!" Miroku says triumphantly. "Feh...you can't even remember the bet..." Inu-Yasha says folding his arms. "What'd ya' mean? I got on the show!" Miroku says angrily. "No, our bet was that you could get on and KEEP the girl you picked...hehe...looks like a pink tutu and bunny ears for you my friend..." Inu-Yasha says in a teasing voice.  
Miroku sticks his nose in the air and says, "I'm going now...see ya' dog brains..." "OH NO!" Inu-Yasha yells. "I'm coming with you to make sure you dont' cheat!" he says with a smug face.  
"Cheat?" Miroku says losing some color. "YEA, cheat...you know, not play fair!!!" Inu-Yasha says stuffing a struggling Shippo under his robe.  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
"YAY YAY YAY!!! He's here!" says the girl in the blue jeans and pink shirt jumping up and down enthusiastically. The boy with the glasses throws her another glare and she runs over and hugs him. "I SWEAR..." she says rolling her eyes, "you're sexier than he is!" she says with a gigle. The boy reluctantly hugs her back, as if he still doesn't believe her. Then, Miroku and Inu-Yasha enter in the building.  
"Um...."Miroku mutters, "I'm looking for Jo..."  
"THAT WOULD BE MEEEEEEEE!!!!!" says the girl in the peasent blouse in a squeaky little girl voice still latched on to the boy in the red shirt. "THAT WAS MY EAR JO!!!!" he screams. "Sorry!" Jo sheepishly says giving him another hug.   
Miroku looks at Jo and a smile spreads across his face. "SO...you're Jo..." he says while bending on knee and kissing her hand. "Oooohhh," Jo says with a giggle. The boy in the red shirt stiffens in his seat, ready to pounce on Miroku. Miroku then looks up and says, "will you bear my child?"  
"DAAAAHHHH!!! FREAK!" Jo says flailing her arms around and jumping into the air. The boy in the red shirt takes his que and catches her before she hits the ground. "Don't talk to MY girl like that, please..." he says as an order more than a request. Inu-Yasha is just laughing it up.  
Jo then notices Inu-Yasha's ears. "Oh wow," she says jumping out of the boy's arms. "Would ya' look at those?" she says in amazement as she pulls and tugs at the ears. Inu-Yasha rolls his eyes and lets out a, "feh." "OH! OH! OH! I GET IT!!! HE'S A DOG!!! HOW CUTE!!!" she says while petting him on the head. Inu-Yasha folds his arms and gets rather irratated. "Dude, she's your girl," he says to the boy with the glasses, "if you don't want me to hurt her, I suggest you get her off me!" "Jo," he says motioning for her to come back to him. "Oh, just one more pet! He's soooo cute!" she says petting him one last time. "DO IT AGAIN, AND I RIP YOUR LUNGS OUT!!!" he yells at Jo.  
Jo backs away and looks at him with a certain defiance. "EXCUSE YOU?" she says with the hand on the hip, weight shifted to one leg, and the pointer finger waving. The boy with the glasses comes from behind and hugs her while dragging her back away from Inu-Yasha. He talks to her for a moment and she begins to calm down. He then turns to Inu-Yasha and says, "she really doesn't mean anything by it..." Inu-Yasha looks the boy up and down and then says, "hey- take those glasses off..." The boy blinks but, does as he is told. "Hey! I know you! Well, not really, but you're Van Fanel, from the Vision of Escaflowne!"  
Jo appears behind Van giving him a huge hug and in a squeaky little girl voice says, "I KNOW AND ISN'T HE THE CUTEST!!!" Van just smacks his hand on his forehead. "Please don't bring up the series..." he says with great dread. Inu-Yasha doesn't hear him though. "Wait a second, something isn't right..." Inu-Yasha mumbles.  
"HEY everyone!" says a familar voice. It's Kagome. "Hey Kagome!" yells Miroku, now happy to have someone who liked him around. Kagome looks at the girl about to squeeze Van to death with a confused look. "Who's she?" she asks Inu-Yasha. Inu-Yasha just ignores her and says, "I thought you wound up with that other girl...what's her name...H-h-Hi-"   
Van's eyes get huge and he starts waving his arms around. "NO DON'T SAY IT!" he yells with Jo still hanging on him. He then clasps his hands over Inu-Yasha's mouth and says, "whatever you do...don't say the H-word to her..." He looks at Inu-Yasha in sheer fear.   
"What? Hell?" asks Kagome.  
"No..." Inu-Yasha says rolling his eyes. It would be like Kagome not to know the greatest anime series of all time, besides, their own, that is.  
"What, horny?" Miroku says while his eys light up.  
Kagome rolls her eyes. "IS THAT ALL you think about?"  
"Well, what could it be then?" Miroku says very pensively.   
"I can't belive you haven't seen this goregeously animated, beautifully scored, heart wrenching, cliff hanging, storytelling ANIME!" yells Inu-Yasha. "It's HITOMI!!! You FREAKS!" yells Inu-Yasha. Van slaps his forehead in disgust. He then starts to rub his head and mumbles, "I can't believe you just said that..."  
Jo finally lets go of Van and looks at Inu-Yasha with a wild fire in her eyes. "WHAT did you say?"  
"Hi-to-mi!" Inu-Yasha says getting angry.  
"THERE IS NO HITOMI! SHE'S FICTIONAL! THERE IS ONLY ME! VAN KNOWS ONLY ME! JO!" she says stepping on Inu-Yasha's foot in a pair of stilletos and then sucker punching him.   
"HeEeEeY!" yells Kagome. "You can't do that to MY Inu-Yasha!"  
"YOUR Inu-Yasha!!!! What do you mean Your Inu-Yasha!!!!" says Inu-Yasha while fighting off a rabid Jo.  
Jo then stops fighting with Inu-Yasha and looks at Kagome. "I'm not even in my guy's series, but at least I wound up with him!"  
"Oh that's it!" Kagome says grabbing a bow and arrow, which just happened to be handy.  
Jo grabs Van's old Fanelian sword off the wall display. "Bring it on, girlie!!!!" she says after swinging it around a couple of times.  
Van grabs Inu-Yasha and Miroku and rushes them into the next room. After they are in, he shuts the door and locks it. Miroku leans foward out of his chair and looks at the shadows passing by. "Will those two be ok?" he says while watching the puff of smoke shoot out arrows, swords, hand grenades, ect.  
"In about ten minuets..." Van says very flatly. "Happens all the time; they are girls, they don't like to fight...they'll wind up crying about how mean we men are to them and then they'll apologize to each other and be best friends..."  
"Hey...you really understand women, don't you?" Miroku says very surprised. "Why do you think I have a job like this and not the one I had?" Van says in a very dry tone. "I learned everything I need to know about women from that fickle girl, Hi-...well you know ..."  
Van then takes out Miroku's papers. "Ok, standard stuff we have to do to cover our tails..."  
"Alright..."  
"1) How many people have you slept with?"  
"How many?"  
"Yea, like how many?" Van says raising and eyebrow. Miroku squirms in his seat. "Uhhhh....why do you ask?" Inu-Yasha gets a smirk on his face. "Don't tell me that you have a big goose egg as your number, Miroku!!!"   
"I just need to know so we can get on to number 2..."  
"Umm..." Miroku squeaks, "0."  
"I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT!!!" Inu-Yasha says while doing the I'm right dance. "You've always acted too pissy and wussy to have gotten some in the past..." He continues doing the I'm right dance while Van continues the drill.  
"2) You have no STD's then, right?"  
"Right," Miroku says with a sigh.  
"3) Does age matter in the applicant?"  
"Nope," Miroku says letting out a sigh.  
"No, he's Lester, Lester, Child Molester!" says Inu-Yasha peeking his head over the chair.  
"SHUDDDAP!" Miroku screams pushing his head back.  
"I knew this guy was sleezy; can't ever trust the men of the cloth like him..." Van thinks to himself. "Or Knights of Heaven for that matter!" (-Esca Humour! bwahahahahaaa! ALLEN HATERS UNITE!!!!^.^)  
"4) Anything the girl should know before she dates you?"  
"Ummm...nope" Miroku says with a pensive look  
"Yuh huh!!!! He's got his family's curse! It's a bottomless pit in his hand look!!!" Inu-Yasha says starting to unravel the beads. "NNO!" Miroku says shoving Inu-Yasha into the wall. "Errrrggg!!!" Inu-Yasha mumbles something and Van simply shakes his head. "JUST SIT..." he says and the two actually responded.  
"5) Do you have problems with commitment?"  
"Not at all!" Miroku says with a smile.  
"YEA, he's comitted to the 'I see ya' I date ya' philosophy..." Inu-Yasha says.  
"I think you're a habitual liar, sir," Van says setting the papers on the desk.  
"I think you're a wuss!" Miroku says to Van.  
"My money's on neither of you, cuz you're both wusses! Bwahahahhahahaha!!!" Inu-Yasha says.   
Van looks at Miroku. "You know, he's really been annoying me more than you..."  
"Yea, same here..." Miroku says.  
The two decide to jump Inu-Yasha.  
*outside* "Geez, I hate it when he locks stuff," says a teary eyed Jo. "I know, Inu-Yasha always locks himself out of the bathroom, isnt' that the stupidest thing?" says Kagome. They both giggle and Jo unlocks the door to find all three guys strangling each other.  
"Umm...are they gonna be ok?" asks Kagome.  
"Hmm...eventually...men like to fight and they'll keep fighting until they can't take it anymore and then they'll realize that women like us are the "cause" of their problems and then they'll agree not to fight anymore and they'll do the manly hug thing..." Jo says as she tosses Van's sword and Kagome's bow and arrow into the mix.   
"Let's just leave them and go start scouting the girl applicants..." says Jo shutting the door.  
"Ok!" says Kagome. "You know, it's neat having a friend backstage..." says Kagome as they walk to the bachelorette applicant building.  
[END]  
[Continued in Chapter 3/Part2: The Applicant]  
[Read and Review Pleaze!]  
[A/N: There still might be room for more bachelorettes!!! Review and tell me why you deserve Miroku!!! lovealways~japanimejo~] 


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